Not thinking in the straight line.

Sigh.
When will we really start talking to each other again?

Maybe it's just me,
hoping for something that isn't there.
Deluding myself,
just to feel happy.

I really am feeling too much.
But you do confuse me.
I don't think we were close to begin with,
but it's...

well,
i just hope we can start talking,
face to face,
and not just on MSN.

Pray not to feel again.

Drumming on the zinc plated roof,
streaming down to earth
as if eager to embrace Mother Nature again.
The rain falls.
I hate it.

Relating to slow sad songs,
Watching the droplets hit the ground,
Trying to count them,
Thinking about the past again.
I hate it.

It could've been worse,
like being run over after you fall.
I probably should be grateful.
I am, but something's missing.
I hate it.

No, forgiveness is a thing of a past,
i keep telling myself.
Vainly trying to block out the self-blame
and regret.
I hate it.

Yes, i'm happy.
No, i'm sad.
Maybe, i don't know.
But, i'm gonna keep on trying.
I still hate all this.

Graduation.

You walk into that
familiar compound.
Determined, in your heart,
no tears today.

It's more than bereavement.
Deep inside,
you may not want to leave.
It's ok.
It's just another part of life.

Flip out the camera's,
immortalize your smiles with pictures.
Hug thy friends,
forgive thy enemies.
Laugh, for it is good.

The auld lang syne.
Sing your heart out, merry friends.
Weep, for not all tears are evil.
The fragments and chips of old memories,
piece them together,
never forget.

Today,
We graduate.
All the Best.

and there was Fire.

It came floating, gently,
the breeze made the haystack shiver.
The oakwood door,swaying on its hinges,
creaks out its own music.
And there by the wall,
burning solemnly,
sat Fire.

He was small,insignificant.
Giving off warmth and glow,
to anyone,anything that came by His way.
Fire was not cruel by nature,
but no saint He was.
Fire wanted to do more,
to escape this small grating.
He moaned and wailed His frustration,
and the breeze heard Him.

Scooped up by breeze's gentle hold,
Fire allowed Himself to be carried,
to be sent sailing through the blessed air.
Ah! the sheer Joy!
No longer did He had to sit on that old faggot anymore.
Breeze,seeing how Fire happy was,
brought him soaring to greater heights,
and just as abruptly,
breeze dropped Him.

Fire experienced free fall,
for all He cared, He cared not.
Down he sank, spiralling,
till the end,
sat on a haystack.
How this infuriated Him,
He deserved a better place!
His anger fueled Him,
blackening His red fiery heart.
He grew and grew,
towering.
Gulping down the hay.

So this is what it feels like,
to be majestic,
thought Fire,
as He continued his frenzied gluttony.
He cared not what it was made of,
swallow everything,render them to ashes,
was all His mind could play.
Higher and higher,
Fire yearned to reach the Heavens,
to show how great He had become.

He staggered,
as simple as that,
and His stagger turned to a fall.
A fall that He could not stop.
He felt himself diminishing,
shrinking.
The whole place looked empty,
all was covered in soot,
black as night.
Fire struggled,writhing with all his might.
He willed himself to incinerate,
to ignite again with all the splendour.
Yet,
all was in vain.

Fire turned to ember,
to spark,
to a glow,
alas,with a great sigh,
was no more.

To feel or not to feel. Your Call.

Well, i know i'm supposed to post that love story i've been working on. But i still kinda feel it's a bit to shoddy to be posted up, so still working on it.

Inspirations been kinda like, not coming my way. But here are some quotes that relates to me, since this is victorsheartstories , isn't it? hehe.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.

Maybe part of loving is learning to let go.

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.




and THIS, i can relate to 100%.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.


It's like i'm Little Boy all over again.

Paroxysm is all there is.

Agnes came home.
She took those overdue bills,
stuffed unceremoniously into her mailbox.

She unlocks the rusting iron gate,
that leads to a sty she calls home.
Whiffs of overnight takeover,
she crinkles her nose.

She switches on the light,
but all she see is darkness overwhelming.
She walks through the haze,
stumbling along the way.
She wonders.

She thought she couldn't lose anymore,
how wrong.
First,
her job,
her family,
her income,
her sanity,
and now,
her friends.

She doesn't know where to turn to.
She blindly gropes in the dark.
A slight breeze greets her face.
Semi-concious,
she lets the draft dry her tears.
She wants more.

Suddenly,
the breeze becomes a torrent of air
gushing at her whole body.
She feels so light,
like she's floating.
no, flying.

Then it stops,
an abrupt end.

She paints the pavement,
crimson red.

Martyrdom.

I can't remember anymore,
the days we spent together.
Not that i'm letting go,
but it's leaving me.
You,
I thought i was close with.
Lies.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
It's like,
we've never met,
and you just hate me,
for no apparent reason.

I abhor the day,
I fell in love with you.
At first i thought it was a blessing,
for me that is,
but it turned out be my curse,
my disaster.
I did not get your heart,
and furthermore,
we just fell apart,
without me even trying.
I just want to talk,
but courage,i find it no where.

Hah!
look at this photograph.
Not for a single moment,
did i believe that the guy next to you,
was actually me.
Go ahead,
laugh,scorn,sneer,insult.
I've hurt too much
till i can't feel myself anymore.
That's what you do to me,
without even trying.
I'm trying to forget you.
But how can I?
when you are just there,
sitting in front of me,
ignoring my existance.

All these welled up emotions,
make me shudder.
I want to reach out for you,
but i think,
you're not pushing away.
more like,
i'm the one shrinking away.
I am not blaming you,
for i know,
it was and still is,
my fault.
Sorry's not good enough.

I guess,
to sum it all up,
our story...
wasn't a could've-been,
wasn't a should've-been,
but more like,
can-never-be and never-will-be.
Pessimist, i am.

When Sun comes around

Rain was just doing his job,
Wind was just fooling around,
Cloud was just passing by,
bossing Rain around.

All that,
Sun was left behind,
shrouded by loneliness.
He kept his rays to himself.

Then the Hand that Wrote all Creation,
strolled about,
and saw Sun sulking alone.

'Well my dear Sun,why have you kept your rays to yourself?'

'I'm not allowed to play with Rain,Cloud or Wind,
They say if i come along,
i'd disrupt their fun.'

'You do not know if that is true,
neither do they.
Your rays are more important than you think'

Sun decided.
So,
out he came,
dazzling and blinding,
warm and fiery,
His rays parted all that was about him,
gently.

Rain stopped,resting a while,
Cloud parted,for he was shy,
and Wind turned to Breeze,his brother.
Sun shone.

All was well.


This particular piece, although not my best, is dedicated to someone whom i truly treasure. May you find good fortune where ever you may fare.


I just got hit by inspiration. So, for those of you who visit this blog(thank you) , please be patient as i need to get the plot of my new story right.

A little hint: it's a love story. bwahaha. Predictable, i know.

The Soul Forgotten

The auburn sky,
with wisps of thin milk clouds
scattered.
The wind whispers
secrets of Nature.
Yet,
He prances and dashes,
with not a care.
Fox chases his own
fluffy bushy tail.
A yelp.
The four legs
moving without a shadow,
under the shade
of the century old growth.
Fox runs and runs,
forsaken by his pack,
but He no longer minds,
He is the forgotten.
Fox runs.

Little Boy Part 3:Exodus

It's raining.
At least that is what
Little Boy think is happening.
Woe betide.

Yes,
thinking,musing
contemplating.
Little Boy has finally found a conclusion:
Time is a Devil.

Time flies past so fast
when you are basking in warm moments.
Time crawls like a prisoner binded with shackles
when you are drowning in grief.
Time is indeed evil.
It cackles at us,mortals.
That is what
Little Boy thinks.

He sums up his new aphorism:
Friends make a Man
or break Him.

On the flat,cold rock
Little Boy sits,haggard.
He likes to think
that he is missed,yearned.
He gazes up to the vast dark sky
blinking away the raindrops,
searching for a message bird,
hoping it would deliver him
a letter, a note,
anything.
he waits in vain.

The clouds part,laughing.
The night sky is unveiled,winking.
Still,not a single life form is seen.
Little Boy has run out of tears.
He rises,
his hands outstreched,eyes shut.
He listens to the whispers of the wind
straining to catch some faint murmur.
He is dreaming. Again.

Faint,unsteady footsteps.
Little Boy turns to see
Old Man hobbling towards him.
Little Boy stares,
Old Man smiles.

'So Little Boy,have you enjoyed your little trip to the Dark Realm?'

'I cannot go any further,i have not the will, nor the have the strength to go back.'

Old Man smiles ruefully
'Things can always be mended'

Little Boy recites his new aphorism to Old Man.
Old Man remains silent for a while,
then shakes his ancient head.

'What do you intend to do now?'

'What am i supposed to do?'

'What do you want now?'

'What do i want?'
Little Boy feels the old
misery rising like a tide.
He remembers vividly his dancing days
and most of allhis dancing friends...
friends...

'I want to go back,
but before that,
I want the courage to say,to speak
I want a chance
I want to stop all this self-brought grief
I want to make things right again.
Is that too much to ask?'

Then suddenly,
a dark blue raven,
perched on the spot
where the Old Man was standing,appeared.
It turned its handsome head,
and nodded,
perceptively.
It spreaded its wings
and took flight.

Little Boy watched it go,
at long last,smiling.
He knew,somehow,
the raven will bring
his heart to his friend.

Something snapped within him.
Little Boy stood,
and took a step,
not forward,but backward.
A step,a shuffle,a jog,a sprint

Little Boy,screaming his heart out,
finally begins his long run
back home.

Little Boy Part 2

Little Boy feels detached.
From everything.

He treads carelessly
down that path.
The noises that deafens all others,
he hears them not.
He is,after all,
detached.

Not only is he oblivious to his surroundings,
he does not even bother
with his physical well-being anymore.
Little Boy no longer feels.....anything at all.
His heart...
locked deep within his soul,
or it might've been lost,he knows not.
All he tastes nowis the bitter feelingof loss.

He tries to remember the Old Man's words.
He recalls them, vaguely.
But all he hears nowis the screeching regret
that ravages every fibre of his broken body.

'That's all i am now,'
Little Boy thought.
'A broken body
with a loss cause.'

He looks down at his own feet,
mildly surprised to see
his marvelous dancing feet
are so laden with cuts and wounds,
obtained by walking that jagged road.
He does a little jig,
but stops abruptly.

Pain.
White hot pain.
Memories of old,
hits him hard in the guts,
racks him with undiluted guilt.
Little Boy drops,
tears of frustration,wells up.

How long Little Boy
sat there,
he can't even fanthom.
All he knowsthat it is too late
to turn back.
Turn back to the days of joy and dancing.
There is only one way to take.
On.

On,
to that deep abyss.

Little Boy Part 1

Once upon a time,
there lived Little Boy
in the Light Realm.
He loved to dance,
and danced where ever and everywhere he went.
He was so cheerful,so carefree,
and he danced like there was no tomorrow.

Little Boy did not dance alone,of course.
He had a ring of friends,
who danced with him.
He was happy to be able to dance with them
and vice versa.

But Little Boy had but one little flaw.
One day,while dancing,
he tripped a friend,
and the friend fell quite badly,
and could not dance again.

Little Boy did not even notice,
he just pranced around as usual,
leaving his friend crying on the floor.
His friend was offended, hurt, angry,
but most of all, disappointed.
The friend limped away,
and danced no more.

Soon,Little Boy had nearly almost 'tripped'
all his friends,and his little dancing circle
just got smaller and smaller,
until the day came,
when Little Boy looked around,
and saw he was alone.
Utterly alone.
He tried to dance as usual,
but no longer could he execute moves as fluidly
as he used to.
He no longer felt the joy in dancing,
for he now danced alone in silence,
that ringing silence.
Little Boy dropped to the floor,
and danced no more,
but began to weep in earnest.

Old Man hobbled along,
and saw Little Boy crying.

'Little Boy,Little Boy, why are you crying?'

Little Boy looked up and stared at Old Man
with doleful eyes.
'My friends have left me.
I hurt them, and i did not notice.
I hurt them, and i did not even apologize.
I hurt them, and now i'm all alone.'

Old Man smiled,
and sat down on the floor with Little Boy.

'Be brave Little Boy.Tomorrow's not too late to find them and tell them how sorry you are.'

To that,Little Boy said:
'But it's always too late when you have nothing.'

Throwing away his dancing shoes,
Little Boy drifted to the Dark Realm,
and kept his heart locked.
Never again did he dance or laugh.
His heart ached so badly,
yearned so desperately,
to seek his lost friends
and to make things up.
But his courage failed him,
he dare not look at his friends in the eyes.
Little Boy was angry at himself,
angry at his cowardice.

'What will i do?',
thought Little Boy.
He lifted his head,
and mourned at the moon.....

Hello

Hiya.

Welcome to my new story blog.

Name:Victor Goh
Age:just turned 17
From: Canada,but currently residing in Malaysia
Occupation: Student

Well, i'll be posting short stories(and then some) here written by yours truly. Please feel free to leave any comments or critisism. I'm open to all of them.

Your support is much needed and appreciated.


Thank You