Pray not to feel again.

Drumming on the zinc plated roof,
streaming down to earth
as if eager to embrace Mother Nature again.
The rain falls.
I hate it.

Relating to slow sad songs,
Watching the droplets hit the ground,
Trying to count them,
Thinking about the past again.
I hate it.

It could've been worse,
like being run over after you fall.
I probably should be grateful.
I am, but something's missing.
I hate it.

No, forgiveness is a thing of a past,
i keep telling myself.
Vainly trying to block out the self-blame
and regret.
I hate it.

Yes, i'm happy.
No, i'm sad.
Maybe, i don't know.
But, i'm gonna keep on trying.
I still hate all this.